who are known to me and me to them solely by correspondence and thru the magazine. I hope the older readers will bear with this decision.

To begin with, my early life was much like many of the rest of you. My earliest recollection of any interest in anything feminine occurred when I was about 12 years old when I found myself fascinated by high heels. I made a scrap book of "pin up" shoe ads from the news- papers and magazines. Later I moved on to wearing my mother's clothes just like all the rest of you. I went thru the ordeal of dressing in secret when nobody was home, admiring my creation in the mirror with the inevitable erotic termination and the immediate welling up of disgust, rejection and determination to "quit." I was always suc- cessful in my quitting as I never did it again - not till next time, that is. I had my big purges and swearing offs too in which everything was given away or burned- and then rebought and kept in secret.

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Somewhere around about 17 I began to get brave and go out at night to walk around the block and gradually got braver and went out in the daytime, then downtown, then to restaurants, movies, etc. over the next years all the same activities, same thrills, and same experiences as so many of the rest of you. We all have pretty standard histories in many respects. My first inklings of the existence of what in later years I came to know as Susanna's "Girl Within" occurred one day when I was walking downtown past one of our bigger depart- ment stores and its rows of fascinating windows. This was usually a big thrill and very exciting, but on this day I suddenly realized that I had walked past all those beautiful windows with only the same amount of interest and involvement as the other women who were shopping. That is, there was no undue thrill or excitement involved, I was just interested in this dress and that hat, etc. Becoming aware of this I said to myself, "for heavens sake girl, turn on! This is sup- posed to be a big event, get excited, get interested, don't waste the opportunity." With that of course I did, but on thinking it over after- ward I came to realize that Virginia (known as Muriel in those days) was somebody different than just Charles in a dress, that she had some purpose and existence of her own, and that she was beginning to develop as a separate personality.

My biggest purge came the day before my first marriage — I, like so many others, didn't tell my wife before marriage thinking that it would all go away now that I would have a real girl for my own. Needless to say, it didn't! About 3 months later it was back in full

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